Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sunday morning Utah news flashes

A few Utah news flashes from this morning:

Utah heat wave breaks records:

Salt in the wound: In the Trib article, the Council of Western State Foresters, representing fire managers in 23 states and territories, cites "the drought, the effect of climate change and the increasing numbers of homes built near wildlands" as causing the increase in firefighting expense. How convenient of them to leave out the real cause, identified by Sen. Darin Peterson (R-Nephi) and his fellow senatorial fire investigators: Environmentalists. Our only consolation: Park City, no doubt harboring many of said environmentalists at this very moment, is suffering through the same haze as everyone else. Ha!

More salt in the wound: While Utah is as dry as a Provo scrapbooking convention, FEMA is melting thousands of pounds of ice originally transported to New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina but never used.

Salt Lake County D.A.'s Office Endorses New "Oh, Well" Defense.

Being impulsive at times, we were relieved to read this morning that theft and burglary are okay in Salt Lake County as long as they're just "spur of the moment" things. In January, all-around good guy Wade Hanks stole a mounted head of a sheep from the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources -- a sheep that he had himself poached earlier. Deputy D.A. Vincent Meister wagged a stern finger at Wade and his fellow thief, Tyrell Gray, letting them off with a fine that they won't have to pay if they manage not to get caught poaching or stealing anything during the next year. It was a "spur of the moment lapse in judgment," Meister said. We're sure that if someone, say, stole a 6-pack from a 7-11 on the spur of the moment, the D.A.'s office would be equally compassionate, but couldn't we at least bring back the Scarlet T or something? Or how about a sign outside the next hunting expo that says "Watch your wallet -- you never know when a spur of the moment might hit..."

Are Cheesecake Factory and In-N-Out Burger on their way to Utah?

Well, duh. Where has the Trib been? Didn't they follow the infamous gravel pit dispute in 2005, when Boyer got a rezone for a controversial megadevelopment in the heart of Sandy? In the campaign leading up to the citizen vote, fliers went around affluent parts of the city telling voters that, if they just punched the right hole, Boyer's development would include an In-N-Out Burger and a Cheesecake Factory--you know, the same Cheesecake Factory that Salt Lake City residents were told would be part of Boyer's new Gateway development if it went through. So, Trib-come-lately, we already knew that all controversial Boyer developments will have a Cheesecake Factory. We have our forks out.


brownbag said...

There was a Cheesecake factory in the Provo Town Center mall when it opened. It went out of business in about a year.

Although I'm not a big fan of Cheesecake facctory, let's hope that they aren't staying away because they couldn't figure out what cheap bastards most people in Utah County are about paying a little more for better quality.

Salt Lake isn't quite as bad.

VoU said...

Oh, dear--you mean their first exposure to Utah was in Utah County? They may have figured out all sorts of things...

Jesse Harris said...

The only chain I'm really hot for is a Fry's Electronics. I need my geek fix and PC Club or CompUSA just won't cut it.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry, but Brownbag - what in the hell are you talking about? There has NEVER been a cheesecake factory ANYWHERE in Utah. And certainly not at the Provo Towne Center Mall.

Is this amature hour?

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