Thursday, August 16, 2007

Legislators cheat death in Davis County!

We all know that Davis County is a crime-infested cesspool. No sane person will cross that border with a 10-foot pole--or without a full clip. I still get chills when I--

Deep breaths. You can do this.

--when I think back on the afternoon when, disoriented from hours of house hunting, I suddenly realized that I had crossed into Davis County--without a gun! I was paralyzed with fear! I couldn't floor it because I was low on gas, but I couldn't stop at the Tesoro because I had no gun! With trembling fingers, I dialed 911, which sent four SWAT units to escort me to my bunker.

Needless to say, I can relate to the sheer terror experienced yesterday by four Utah legislators who, like those mine rescue workers in Huntington, set aside concerns for their own safety and agreed to tour the Chevron plant in Davis County without a single gun.

According to the Trib article, even knowing that their portable safety devices would not be allowed at the facility, Rep. Curt Oda (R-Clearfield), Sen. Mark Madsen (R-Lehi), Rep. Carl Wimmer (R-Herriman), and Sen. Howard Stephenson (R-Draper) still agreed to go on the tour, after stopping their bus, getting off, and solemnly handing their manhoods hardware over to an NRA rep. We are so impressed.

"I've never been so scared in my life," Wimmer said. "I peed my pants."

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