Sunday, September 23, 2007

Winging it: Salt Lake's 'Guardian Angels'

Read an exciting new article this morning about our local Guardian Angels, a "ragtag band of nine volunteer crime fighters" who went on their first patrol yesterday in Pioneer Park, headed up by regional director Frank Lee. The article was so inspirational that we can't resist offering our own annotations:
They formed two lines and walked together through the park about 6:30 p.m. as about a dozen mostly homeless people remained scattered about. . . . The walk-through lasted less than 30 minutes.
Wow, nearly 30 straight minutes of crime prevention! Maybe when they've regained their strength, they can go for the full half hour.
Lee told the group that to some it appeared they had accomplished nothing other than meeting new people.
He's psychic, too!
But the group's presence alone would deter "bad elements," he said, and a trained group of Guardian Angels could have done more.
No doubt about it. One comparably trained group of crime fighters comes to mind that managed to break up a meth lab and kill numerous drug dealers and innocent bystanders on their very very first day . . . .

The exciting part about this Guardian Angels thing, though, is that they don't feel constrained by that "reasonable suspicion / probable cause" thing that the Framers of our Constitution were always whining about. Being a Guardian Angel apparently eliminates that whole "do we actually have any proof?" hassle:

Lee, a sturdy man with a sense of humor but little patience for disrespect, asked his volunteers if they noticed a man in a long-sleeve white shirt. A few nodded yes. "If we had experienced Guardian Angels here, he would have been on the ground," Lee told the group. "I know he has narcotics on him."
Yes, if only some experienced Guardian Angels had been with them, they could have physically attacked someone they suspected might have drugs on him. Granted, they would have been arrested for assault and hauled off to jail, but then they could have met even more criminals, without having to do all that walking. If only!

1 comment:

Alienated Wannabe said...

Oh, that is so funny. Thanks for the belly laughs.