Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Does this mean Oprah won't like my new heartwarming memoir?

I am hoping that the revelation that Oprah has been fooled multiple times by really cool books that turn out to be really bogus won't cause her to pass up other classic stories waiting to be told. For example, I have just finished my memoirs, revealing for the first time the true story of how I met my true love during a true weekend moon mission many years ago.

An excerpt:
Our eyes met. "Glurp," it said. I looked around, to be sure that no one would see us.

Of course, I could not speak its language, but I had to try. "Do you want some soup?" I gestured with my hands. "I have some Campbell Extra Chunky Vegetarian."
Yeah, I hear those NASA whiners. "There has never been a private lunar launch from Utah, nor could there be, because [scientific mumbo jumbo deleted]." "It is physically, geometrically, logistically, and scientifically impossible to get to the moon and back in one weekend, even if there is a holiday in there." "This seems nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to procure sponsorship of a major soup manufacturer," blah blah.

First of all, who made NASA the know-all of space travel? Jealous much? Second, I resent the implication that I am just trying to make money off an important subject like space travel. However, this is not the final draft, and my memory is starting to become clearer, Campbell. As I think more about it, it may have been a Pepsi . . .


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