Yesterday, patrons of the LDS Family History Library were slapped in the face repeatedly as the Church repeatedly refused to recognize Christmas as the only legitimate Decemberish holiday. "It totally ruined genealogy for me," said Voice of Utah 2. "I could barely force myself to eat the free cookies and cocoa up on the third floor."
Every hour at the :45, a non-Christian-loving announcer came on with her indoctrinating voice and said, "As part of our holiday celebration, the Library will hold a class at 2 p.m. on Tongan holiday traditions," or Mexican "holiday" traditions, or English "holiday" traditions.
Patrons were enraged. "I've lost him after the 1820 census but I know he didn't die until 1834," declared one genealogist in response to the barrage of anti-Christian announcements.
"Have you tried tax lists?" another agreed.
Clearly, something must be done. Sen. Buttars, there is time to rewrite your nationally renowned resolution telling business owners to quit ruining the Christmas holiday by using the word holiday. Could you please include the Church in that?