Wednesday, May 20, 2009

LDS Church, please relocate your Oquirrh Mountain temple

Opening an envelope a while back, I noted that it was an invitation to tour another new temple. I usually make time for those, so I turned to my computer to enter the date, time, and--what?! It couldn't be. It said South Jordan, but 11022 South 4000 West looks like Herriman, walks like Herriman, and quacks like Herriman, and even thinking about venturing into Herriman was enough to give me a headache.

My Herrimaphobia is entirely rational. I spent a week in Herriman one day last month. Actually, I spent three weeks there on three separate days, requiring progressively more therapy. The first time, after driving around aimlessly and calling the woman once again, I was finally told, "Oh, did I say I lived on X street? I meant Y."

On the second occasion, I talked VOU2 into joining me to see some furniture advertised on Craigslist. The conversation -- well, more like a monologue -- on that delightful trip went something like this, with certain words replaced for tender eyes:
"Where are we? . . . This place is a hole. . . . Are we still in Herriman? . . . It's not on my GPS. . . . What kind of idiot runs an ad on Craigslist for Helliman and doesn't put the coordinate? . . . Whoever laid out these streets was obviously drunk. This place is a [disappointing,] [confusing] [maze]! . . . I now hate this man, and I hate Herriman."

It is a known fact that there is something wrong with everyone who voluntarily lives or drives in Herriman. This new temple is too close. Please move it.



oussan said...

lol! Don't let this one's southwesterly location scare you away. I think you'll find this area to be quite a bit different than Herriman!

oussan said...

Full disclosure: I should admit that I live in the Daybreak neighborhood that this new temple is located in. I think it's a pretty, great place to live (and a pretty, great place for a temple). :)

I rarely blog these days (unless you count Facebook), but I wrote on this temple last year. Check it out! (Warning, religious content ahead!)

Julie said...

I think you'll find this area to be quite a bit different than Herriman!
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Anonymous said...

this is offensive and harsh. Have you ever heard of the saying, "Don't Judge a book by its cover"? well don't judge a temple by the town it is located in!!!

Anonymous said...

this is offensive and harsh. Have you ever heard of the saying, "Don't Judge a book by its cover"? well don't judge a temple by the town it is located in!!!

Anonymous said...

this is offensive and harsh. Have you ever heard of the saying, "Don't Judge a book by its cover"? well don't judge a temple by the town it is located in!!!